JOKE

em · Posted: Aug Tue 07, 2007 11:46 pm Post subject: JOKE

Well this goes to prove that us women think ahead.......

A woman went to her doctor. The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said,
"I've some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order."

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the Waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.

"Well daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. Let's head to the club and have a bourbon & coke."

After 3 or 4 bourbons the two were feeling a little less sombre.
There were some laughs and more bourbons.
Eventually they were approached by some of the woman's old friends, Who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.

The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end. "I've been diagnosed with AIDS."
The friends were aghast and gave the woman their condolences.

After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered,"Mum, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you told your friends You were dying of AIDS.
"The woman said, "I know, I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I'm gone."

butterfly39 · Posted: Aug Wed 08, 2007 8:07 am Post subject:

butterfly39 · Posted: Aug Thu 09, 2007 9:53 am Post subject:

here's two jokes:

Joke one--

One day little susie went into her back yard and found her dog muffles lying dead with its legs in the air.

She asked, "Daddy, daddy, why are Muffles legs in the air?" Thinking quickly, her dad replied, "Well honey, this way God can come down and take Muffles to heaven easier."

The next day when Susie's Dad cam home, she ran up to him and said, "Daddy, daddy, mommy almost died today!"

Flustered, her father said, "Honey what happen?"

And Susie said, "Well, mommy's legs were up in the air and she was screaming ' Oh God, I'm coming, I'm coming, and if it weren't for the mailman laying on top of her, holding her down, she would have been a goner."

Joke two--

One day thee was a little girl. Her mother didn't have any money to buy her any underwear. One day the little girl was wearing a little dress and playing up in a tree. A priest walked by and looked up. Concerned he called the little girl down and said, "Little girl take this $100.00 and go buy some new underwear and a pretty dress."

The little girl ran home and told her mother what happened. Seizing the opportunity, the next day the mother was up in the tree without any underwear. The priest walked by and called her down and said, "Here's $2.00. Go and buy yourself some razors!"

em · Posted: Aug Thu 09, 2007 7:25 pm Post subject:

I like those ones that's freakin funny!!!

oldcloud · Guest

That terrible butterfly.
Here is one. What do you have when there are six blonds on the beach?

A six pack of slitz. (slitz Beer, HaHa)

butterfly39 · Posted: Aug Thu 09, 2007 10:06 pm Post subject:

what's a seven course meal for a man?

A sixpack and a hotdog

em · Posted: Aug Thu 09, 2007 10:07 pm Post subject:

what to you call a man with no arms no legs sitting in a pool...............BOB!!! LOL

butterfly39 · Posted: Aug Thu 09, 2007 10:16 pm Post subject:

oldcloud · Guest

How do you get a one armed man out of a tree??

Wave to him.

em · Posted: Aug Thu 09, 2007 11:01 pm Post subject:

what to you call a guy with no arms no legs sitting in a bush...........Russel!!! LOL

butterfly39 · Posted: Aug Fri 10, 2007 11:59 am Post subject:

here's another one, em.

A mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by her son's house after he was recently married. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house to see her daughter-in-law standing naked by the door.

"What are you doing?" the mother-in-law asked.

"I am waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law replied.

"Why are you naked?" asked the mother-in-law.

"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law replied.

"Love dress? You are naked!" said the mother-in-law.

"But my husband loves it when I wear this dress. It makes him happy, and he makes me happy. I would appreciate your leaving now because my husband will be home any minute."

Soured by all of this romantic stuff, the mother-in-law left. On the way home, she thought about the "love dress" and got an idea. She undressed, showered, applied her best perfume, and waited by the door for her husband to come home.

Finally, the pickup truck pulled into the driveway, and she took her place by the door. The father-in-law opened the door and immediately saw his wife naked by the door.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"This is my love dress," the mother-in-law replied.

"Maybe you should iron it first," he said.

em · Posted: Aug Fri 10, 2007 6:30 pm Post subject:

OMG!!