Joke

em · Posted: Jun Tue 26, 2007 12:10 am Post subject: Joke

Hey,

Ok, so i have a joke for you all, now i am sorry to any blonde person who reads this, but as a natural blonde myself even i have to admit this is pretty freakin funny.....

A blond walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum
deodorant.
The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that, they
don't sell rectum deodorant and never have.
Unfazed, the blond assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the
stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more.
"I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "We don't have any."
"But, I always buy it here," says the blond.
"Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the pharmacist.
"Yes," said the blond, "I'll go home and get it."
She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks
at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm
deodorant."

Annoyed, the blond snatches the container back and reads out loud from
the container ......."TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM.

ROFL

Aedryan Methyus · Posted: Jun Tue 26, 2007 12:26 am Post subject:

You mean that's not what you're supposed to do with it!? Shocked

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em · Posted: Jun Tue 26, 2007 12:29 am Post subject:

god you crack me up Aedryan.......and sign in to MSN already!!!!!!

butterfly39 · Posted: Jun Tue 26, 2007 8:21 am Post subject:

em · Posted: Jun Tue 26, 2007 10:56 pm Post subject:

ok so just one more......i got this one today.....

Three women die together in an accident
and go to heaven.

When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!"

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.

St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St.. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"

The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"

ROFL

Knowing me......i would step on a duck and end up back with my EX lol (and now thats UGLY....i think i was drunk everyday for 3 years) LOL

butterfly39 · Posted: Jun Wed 27, 2007 8:24 am Post subject:

Your too funny! What's a seven course meal for a man?

A sixpack and a hotdog (I know, mine's tame or lame, but I couldn't resist throwing one out there, ha ha)

em · Posted: Jun Wed 27, 2007 5:37 pm Post subject:

hehehehe,

No that was funny, i like that one!!!!!!

ellycat · Curious About Ghosts Joined: 12 Jul 2007 Posts: 9

there is a party double decker bus brunettes on bottom blondes on top the brunnetes are having a wild time when one realise that the blondes arnt partying she gos up top to ask what is wrong the blondes who have a terrifyed look on there face and for some reason hanging on for dear life answer its okay for you to party you have a driver we dont !

Typist5 · Ghost Enthusiast Joined: 02 May 2006 Posts: 36

Aging Mildred was a 93 year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband Earl.
She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death.

Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl's old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in the first place.

Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and burden to someone, she called her doctor to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be.

"On a woman," the doctor said, "your heart would be just below your left breast."

Later that night, Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.
_________________
I'm like the Twilight Zone on Crack baby!

em · Posted: Jul Thu 12, 2007 11:28 pm Post subject:

Now thats some funny shit!!!!
ROFL

em · Posted: Jul Thu 12, 2007 11:29 pm Post subject:

OK i have another one......

Toward the end of the Sunday Service, the priest asked,"How many of You
are willing to forgive your enemies?"
80% held up their hands.
The priest then repeated his question.
All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.
"Mrs. Jones?" "Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"
"I don't have any", she replied, smiling sweetly.
"Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?"
"Ninety eight", she replied.
"Oh, Mrs. Jones, would you please come down to the front and tell us all
how a person can live ninety eight years and not have an enemy in the
world?"
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the
congregation and said: "I out lived the bitches"